Little Ball of Joy
by Blonde Cana
Summary: Laxus and Cana have been together for quite some time now, but she's been hesitating to tell him something very important. It's a little too late to explain now. He's just going to have to experience it for himself. *Warning: Sensitive Content* T rating for the content and some language. Fairy Tail rights to Hiro Mashima


The sun shined through the window. The air was still and there was the strong rusty stench of blood.

Laxus opened his eyes and sat up in his bed to the sound of crashing metal. Cana was missing from his side and there was a small trail of red leading from her side of the bed to the hallway bathroom.  
"Cana?" Laxus called out. The man shook his head, still dazed from being woken up so suddenly. He moved the top covers off of her spot. A large blotch of blood stained his new sheets. "Cana?!" He called out again. Laxus was worried that she was hurt. The young man obviously knew that she could have just been in her menstrual cycle, but something seemed odd about it. The blood smelled different than he was used to. They had been seeing each other for just over a year now. He knew that scent. Laxus got up to investigate some more. He noticed that there was a patch of dried mess on his pajama pants, most likely where Cana was laying on him the night before.

There was a faint sniffling sound echoing from the bathroom. "Cana, are you in there?" Laxus asked softly. The light was on, so someone had to be in. The man tried to open the door, but the knob wouldn't budge.  
A sense of panic ran through Laxus' mind. Cana wouldn't lock the door. They had lived together for a few months now and she didn't even bother to shut the door when she had to pee. He could smell her, but he wondered if he wasn't picking up on something. He wondered if someone else's sent was missing from this. "Babe, please answer me. I need to know you're okay." He commented sternly. Laxus waited in the few moments of silence. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He didn't think that anyone would dare break in, and he would know sooner than now, but there was no other clear explanation as to why she was so unresponsive.  
"Screw it. I don't care. I'll get a new one." Laxus muttered to himself. "I need to know." The large man shook his head and got his wallet out of the bedroom. He pulled out his ID card and jammed it between the door's lock and the frame. A click sounded from the lock. He quickly pushed the wood away from his body and peeked in. "Hey!"  
"Oh shit… sup?" Cana asked in fairly casual, but quiet manner. She stared blankly at the wall directly in front of her while she laid down in the empty tub. Her expression was practically emotionless, but there were tears streaming down both sides of her face. Laxus' toilet, floor, and small rugs were covered in droplet sized bloodstains. The metal stand for clean towels had been knocked over. He stepped in and threw his trashed card on the floor. Laxus crouched down and placed the towel rack back to it's original position. "I just woke up and almost had a panic attack… Do you need to go to the hospital? I don't exactly know your flow, but this seems like a lot…" He asked in a gentle tone. There was still an odd, but familiar smell to this blood.  
"No… This isn't the first time this has happened." Cana let out a small, hazy laugh. It was like there was some sick inside joke he wasn't picking up on. "I'm assuming you can smell what this is. Dragon slayer stuff and all." Cana nervously smiled as more tears started to flow from her eyes. Her gaze stayed consistent with the wall. Laxus looked over at the tile but didn't see anything.  
The emotionlessness she expressed in her eyes was so bewildering. Laxus had never seen her like this. He felt a tiny sense of detachment from the woman whom he had come to know and live with. "I don't actual…" Laxus stopped as he suddenly glanced into the toilet bowl. "... Cana, is that?..." A cold chill ran down his spine. He couldn't manage to get the words to come out of his mouth. There was a dark scarlet mass, about the size of his palm, at the bottom of the blood diluted water. He understood what that odor was now. The scent was a mix between the woman he loved and himself. It was still, however, unique in its own way. Something about it seemed so undeveloped, making it harder to come to terms with this reality. "Oh." was the only other thing Laxus could manage to mutter out. Cana had mentioned that it had happened before… How many more miscarriages could she have had? She was so young. Were they his, or someone else's? Was it his genetic fault? Similar questions and thoughts ran around in Laxus' head. He didn't see it as a good time to ask any of them, so he remained silent.  
Cana didn't look at him, but she moved her head and gaze to his direction. She curled up into a ball, hugging her knees in while another gush of blood poured down to the drain. "Please don't kick me out." She pleaded quietly.  
Laxus took a step back and took a second to stare at the woman before he forcibly jumped into the empty tub with her. He scooted her body up and sat so she could lay on his chest. He embraced Cana and held her tightly. It took her a moment to realize that he was starting to cry too. There was an angry look on his face.  
"What reason would I have to kick you out?! You didn't do anything wrong. The stuff can be cleaned or thrown out. I don't care about the stuff. The stuff can be burned for all I care!" As he made this clear, the slow flow started to seep into his already messed up pajama pants.  
"Laxus, I know I should have mentioned this earlier, but I can't have-"  
"I don't give a shit if you can't have kids! You will be the best damn aunt anyone could ever have if you can't be a mommy! There's always adoption, but I kind of like the idea of having an army of other people's children." The man's body was softly shaking. "We will feed them junk, and they will be loyal forever, and they will have your back as long as you live." Laxus' face was starting to get redder. He snuggled his right cheek into Cana's scalp. "I wouldn't let you live with me if I didn't love you. I'm not going to stop loving you because you can't naturally bare a child! Again, it doesn't have to be ours…" Laxus let his grip ease up, but still rested his head on top of Cana's. Everything about this situation was unexpected, but he accepted that this was how he felt.  
"You okay?" Cana gently asked, holding onto her man's arm. She had already considered the things he was suggesting a long time ago.  
"I'm fine. Do you need to go to the hospital?"  
Cana shook her head "no" and snuggled deeper into his chest. "I'm just going through labor without having a live kid to push. I need to get a check-up within the week to make sure everything is out, but other than that, I'm just in a lot of pain… I'm sorry."  
"Shoosh. There's nothing to be sorry about. If you want I can make you a set up on the couch with a heating pad before I clean the bed. Bixlow and Freed were supposed to come over, but I can always make up a reason for us to meet up somewhere else on another day."  
Cana patted his hand and tried to wipe her tears away without getting any blood on her face. "That'd be nice. I need to wash up. You know that the longer blood sits, the harder it is to get out."  
The man looked over to the toilet. "What do we do with… it?"  
Cana pushed herself off Laxus' chest and shrugged. "It's only a few weeks old, so it's small enough to flush, but I've buried the other ones in a shoe box at my church. They understand and have some spots set aside for me… I'll get 'em out if you get a box."  
Laxus kept his eyes on the bowl. He thought about how he could have been a dad if she was able to hold the kid. Cana patted his shoulder, trying to get him to move and get out. "Come on. Don't think about it too much. This is my fourth. Thinking about the what if's is just going to tear you apart. Like you said, I'll just be the best damn aunt there ever was."  
Laxus sat up and rolled out of the bathtub. He slowly brought himself to stand, but couldn't keep his mind off of what Cana must have gone through to get to this casual of a state. She lost a child, but she wasn't in a huge panic or stun. Laxus felt like he should have been the one trying to get her to move, not the other way around.

He managed to walk out and shut the door. He figured she would want some privacy. Laxus honestly wanted a little moment to himself too. His home felt off and the world around him was starting to get more and more distant. This new information charged what he had expected for his future with Cana. It changed what his friends would say and joke about. It would change how his grandfather looked at her. No longer would anyone be lightheartedly mentioning their hopes for Cana to bare his child. No one would kid around about a pregnancy being the reason Laxus would finally propose to her. The man had basically walked in on the early birth of his offspring. This was most likely the closest he was going to get, to being there for his child's birth. He didn't get the "running in and seeing Cana holding their beautiful little baby" that was promised. He broke in on her bleeding in a bathtub while their genderless blob sinking to the bottom of a shit tank. Just another thing to add to the list of overrated milestones.  
Laxus took a really deep breathe and sighed. He stopped for a moment to think about how Cana must have felt about her inability to hold children. The woman had a very strong and natural motherly instinct. Maybe she was meant to take care of someone else's baby.  
The army of children did seem kind of cool, but Laxus was questioning if it would make up for his desire to be a better father than Ivan.

The man threw the covers off his bed and removed the bloody sheets, revealing a red-soaked mattress. The blotch was starting to oxidize and fade into a crimson-brown. It was too late for this to be an easy process. This wasn't going to be something that he could just cover up and move on from. It was going to take time to recover. He'd have to deal with the smell embedded in its fibers.

Laxus thought to himself, "What next?" Does he get the cleaner, find a shoe box, break down and cry, or should he go see Cana again?

Does he try to fix the stain despite its hopelessness, move on with what he can do, stop trying to fix the reality of their future, or does he cover up his fear by comforting someone who doesn't need comforting?  
He sat down on the living room couch with a few clean blankies, a plate of cookies, and a heating pad ready for when his lover got out. For a little bit, Laxus let himself cry before wondering where he could get the shoe box from. He planned to clean the bed, but not care about the mattress's new imperfection.  
Whatever Cana decided to do was her own decision. Laxus wanted to be alongside her for the ride, where ever it took them. Even if that meant never having a little ball of joy to call their own.

The End

* * *

Notes:  
Hey, sup?

Leave a review about what you thought.  
I know miscarriage is a heavy topic, but it was something to write about. Not being able to carry a child isn't something to be ashamed of, but it's still a struggle for all people who are starting to realize that they won't have the "normal" family.  
I wrote about this because I needed to get out what I saw happening to the people around me. I think that's why I write in general. It helps to put it into a character's life rather than your own, at least, that's my experience. If you're decent at writing you can try to make money off your problems. If you're not decent at writing, just post it on fanfiction or WapPad. No one really cares.

Criticizing myself:  
As far as my writing, "shit tank" seemed kind of strong, and I know, the pronouns were repetitive. Every simple word is repetitive... I'll work on it.  
I wanted to keep an open ending to it, but I think I need to work on that too. I keep obsessing over it, but I just need to chill.


End file.
